Good morning! Happy Wednesday! It is a Happy Wednesday. Even if yesterday’s were not so happy. If you know me on facebook or real life, you know that yesterday was a hard day for me.
Not even the whole day! Most of the day was great! Dinner time. Dinner time ruined my whole day. My son is almost 3 and like any other almost 3 year old, he refuses to eat dinner. Breakfast and lunch? Sure! Dinner? Definitely not going to happen. Unless it is a hot dog and mac n cheese, which is what he will be having tonight.
Ok so last night, as soon as he saw what was for dinner, he decided he did not like it. I started to feel super overwhelmed with anger mostly. I cooked, he should at least try it. We will sit here until you eat it. Ok, no movie after dinner, no toys after dinner, sit hear until bed time.
None of these threats worked. In an effort to not lose my shit, oh yeah, I say shit, hope that is ok. In an effort to not lose my shit, I took to FB live in my favorite mom group. Drank my wine and vented about this whole dinner nonsense. Most the women totally got it and talked about their own dinner related struggles.
One mom, however, pointed out that I am probably making a bigger deal out of if than I should be. I put pressure on myself to make my son eat. Is it a “worry” thing? Sure, but he eats all day, I know he is ok, not going to starve. Is it a control thing? This… this is probably more of what it is.
I have noticed my tendency to get angry. I instantly feel icky about myself when I am aware I feel this way and do not know what to do.
So I did what every parent does once in a while. I googled it. How do I stop being an angry parent? I found an amazing article that broke it down step by step, from the very beginning of feeling that inkling of rage. Rage may seem like an over exaggeration, but I assure you it is not. I remember feeling the same type of rage 7 years ago when I was in the worst time period of my life. I also call her, my dragon lady. Hello dragon lady, I feel you still in there and trying to control me again.
The articles steps were clear: Stop, Breathe, Listen.
Stop when you feel it. Breathe to let it go. And listen to yourself, listen to the things you want to say before you say them. Listen to your kid. Listen to the reality of the situation and is it as
bad as you are about to make it seem.
Doesn’t sound too bad. Sounds like how I learned to control it 7 years ago. How did I stop 7 years ago? Magically right before I met my husband, I had been introduced to Buddhism which was like nothing I had ever been taught before.
Talking with a friend who also practices last night, reminded me that one bad dinner should not have taken away from how great yesterday as a whole was. She was right. I had let it take down my whole day.
I say all this to say that if you find something that works for you, do not stop. Even when it seems you have everything under control. You don’t. And that is ok! If you are like me, you might need that support by something bigger than yourself. I chant. Maybe you pray. Maybe you meditate. Good! I am glad you have those things! Your family is glad you have those things!
What solidified it for me was the other day when my husband said to me “Everyone knows when you are not chanting.”
And I know too. I feel it. I feel depressed, I feel angry, I feel impatient. Getting started again is so hard. I feel like Spider-Man fighting the venom stuff that takes over his whole body. But with resources and daily practice, we can fight back!
Here’s to fighting for our happiness!