trustyourjourney

 

When I first started putting words on mugs, I needed some inspiration so I posted on facebook asking people what some of their favorite sayings were. I got a great response and this one, in particular, has always stuck with me. I have probably styled it 20 different ways because nothing seems to do it justice.

Recently, I have struggled with this kind of trust. Everything seems to weigh down and there is no light at the end of the tunnel and it feels like everything is falling apart.

As it may seem that way, I still wake up every day. I still go thru the motions of what I need to do, want to do, am expected to do. Day in and day out. The amazing thing is that nothing is permanent. So what seems like the end of the world today, in 3 weeks or 3 months or 3 years, will be resolved.

The calm that comes over me when I think about things that have happened and that I have already gone thru, how happy I am that those things are over, that is the calm I wish I had while the shit is happening. Trusting your journey means that the bad times will not last forever, but at the same time, nor will the good.

I truly believe in appreciating the good for however long it lasts but knowing that it will not last forever, and trying to endure the bad knowing in my heart that I will grow from this and it too will not last forever.

Once we get thru an obstacle, it is the biggest relief and we want to bury it, be done with it.

But remembering how good it felt to get thru that thing, might help us trust and have faith that whatever the current thing is, will end too and we will eventually feel that way again.

 

Not Retreating From What Works For You

Good morning! Happy Wednesday! It is a Happy Wednesday. Even if yesterday’s were not so happy. If you know me on facebook or real life, you know that yesterday was a hard day for me.

Not even the whole day! Most of the day was great! Dinner time. Dinner time ruined my whole day. My son is almost 3 and like any other almost 3 year old, he refuses to eat dinner. Breakfast and lunch? Sure! Dinner? Definitely not going to happen. Unless it is a hot dog and mac n cheese, which is what he will be having tonight.

Ok so last night, as soon as he saw what was for dinner, he decided he did not like it. I started to feel super overwhelmed with anger mostly. I cooked, he should at least try it. We will sit here until you eat it. Ok, no movie after dinner, no toys after dinner, sit hear until bed time.

None of these threats worked. In an effort to not lose my shit, oh yeah, I say shit, hope that is ok. In an effort to not lose my shit, I took to FB live in my favorite mom group. Drank my wine and vented about this whole dinner nonsense. Most the women totally got it and talked about their own dinner related struggles.

One mom, however, pointed out that I am probably making a bigger deal out of if than I should be. I put pressure on myself to make my son eat. Is it a “worry” thing? Sure, but he eats all day, I know he is ok, not going to starve. Is it a control thing? This… this is probably more of what it is.

I have noticed my tendency to get angry. I instantly feel icky about myself when I am aware I feel this way and do not know what to do.

So I did what every parent does once in a while. I googled it. How do I stop being an angry parent? I found an amazing article that broke it down step by step, from the very beginning of feeling that inkling of rage. Rage may seem like an over exaggeration, but I assure you it is not. I remember feeling the same type of rage 7 years ago when I was in the worst time period of my life. I also call her, my dragon lady. Hello dragon lady, I feel you still in there and trying to control me again.

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The articles steps were clear: Stop, Breathe, Listen.

Stop when you feel it. Breathe to let it go. And listen to yourself, listen to the things you want to say before you say them. Listen to your kid. Listen to the reality of the situation and is it as
bad as you are about to make it seem.

Doesn’t sound too bad. Sounds like how I learned to control it 7 years ago. How did I stop 7 years ago? Magically right before I met my husband, I had been introduced to Buddhism which was like nothing I had ever been taught before.

Talking with a friend who also practices last night, reminded me that one bad dinner should not have taken away from how great yesterday as a whole was. She was right. I had let it take down my whole day.

I say all this to say that if you find something that works for you, do not stop. Even when it seems you have everything under control. You don’t. And that is ok! If you are like me, you might need that support by something bigger than yourself. I chant. Maybe you pray. Maybe you meditate. Good! I am glad you have those things! Your family is glad you have those things!

What solidified it for me was the other day when my husband said to me “Everyone knows when you are not chanting.”

 

And I know too. I feel it. I feel depressed, I feel angry, I feel impatient. Getting started again is so hard. I feel like Spider-Man fighting the venom stuff that takes over his whole body. But with resources and daily practice, we can fight back!

Here’s to fighting for our happiness!img_4359

 

 

 

Confessions

Let’s talk Scary Mommy Confessions. First of all, if you are reading this and do not have kids yet, thinking about having kids, not sure about having kids.. I would go with not reading Scary Mommy Confessions.

I started reading them when I stumbled across them while nursing my son probably a year ago. There are some funny ones. Some positive ones. But mostly, they are scary sad confessions.

I get why they are anonymous and it makes me wish I could HUG every single sad mom out there! And just listen to her. I just want to listen, and let her cry and nod sympathetically and let her get it out of her system, in real life, with real eyes looking back with compassion.

It is said, that mothers are like the sun. The sun of the family. No matter what, her attitude should be the brightest to help brighten the lives of everyone she loves.

Sometimes, the confessions are on the comparing ends of things. Other peoples partners, other peoples kids, other peoples days, job, no job etc. Comparing is evil. It is self destructive.

If mothers are the sun, comparing is a literally a giant rain cloud that everyone notices, everyone picks up on it, everyone feels it, everyone reflects it and the cycle continues. Please stop comparing.

You are loving your kids the best you can and that looks so different for every single mom and parent, no matter how similar some situations may look at first glance.

It can be the most difficult thing to accept our own individual circumstance. Not only accept it, but then to also be happy about it!

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I love this quote from SGI President Daisaku Ikeda. “The plum is happiest when it blooms as itself in full glory.” Right where the plum is, it grows into the best version of itself. That is all it can do. To even think of being something else, would only cause it suffering.

You are who you are where you are when you are.

By embracing all that is around you, all that makes up your life right now, only opens you up for opportunity to grow and be happy.

Once that happens, it is amazing to look back and see how everything happened for a reason, even the times that you were at your lowest and unhappiest.

For a long time, I was that miserable person. After I graduated from Art school, I stayed working in my retail job, I was promoted and once your promoted, you are often stuck, seemingly. I spent a lot of time thinking I had nothing and everything I did have was crap.

I didn’t appreciate anything, and now I deeply appreciate everything. Everything I once considered a waste, I now cherish as part of my history in this life. Looking back on it, I don’t really recognize that person.

I hope that for the people who are “stuck” right now, they do come to a place in their lives where they look back and see that everything happened for a reason. It is the most incredible warm and fuzzy feeling I have ever experienced. Like deja vu but on a cloud.

Find something to be grateful for everyday, kids and parents both should get in on that, together! Teach them early to appreciate anything and everything, no matter how small. Especially the small things!

A forest isn’t built up of one tree. It is several, numerous trees that makes it so!

 

A Simple Exercise on Gratitude by Ana V. Ramirez

There are many benefits to practicing gratitude on a daily basis. You shift your focus to positive things, you become mindful (and bring about) more of the good stuff happening in your life, you reduce stress and anxiety, etc. It’s easy when things are going well to be grateful. But what about when things go wrong? Is that when we throw gratitude out the window and complain about everything?
Being grateful when things are not all sunshine and puppy dogs is challenging, but that’s when it’s most needed. In moments of crisis focusing on the negative will only bring about more negativity—and who needs that?
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So I will share a simple exercise in being grateful that I use when it would be easier to complain. The backstory: I have chronic back pain and last summer it got worse. I have been in and out of physical therapy and it’s likely my doctor will be recommending more drastic measures, such as epidurals, soon. Today my back hurts and there’s pain going down the side of my leg. It frustrates me to no end because it makes it hard to work. And I like my work. But rather than focusing on the pain, I choose to focus on what I can be grateful right here and right now.

Here’s a list of seven things I’m grateful for in no particular order:
I work from home so I can pause and stretch my back often during the day
It’s a beautiful day today—blue skies, a light breeze and a perfect 70 degrees
I had grilled cheese for lunch
My dog is nearby and I can go snuggle him whenever I want (although sometimes he huffs like I’m torturing him) 🙂
My office is looking almost as Pinterest-worthy as I would like
I have time to write a blog post in the middle of the day
A client mentioned additional work I can do for her

I could go on, but will leave it to you for now. What can you be grateful for right now?

 

More from Guest Writer Ana V. Ramirez 

Not only is she a writer, her website is
filled with beautiful decorative imagery!

Stopping the Cycles of Unhappiness

Happiness.

I want people to become happy. Not just my family, friends, so on, I want strangers to be happy. I am unhappy that so many people are unhappy.

I know unhappiness. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was miserable, angry and did things to make others unhappy. Because well, misery loves company.

You know who loves company even more? Happiness.

I was raised by my mother who did the very best she could! She also happened to be an alcoholic. For years I didn’t know what made her the way she was sometimes. I didn’t know why she would tell me “Shut up, God, your voice goes right through me.” I didn’t know why she was violent toward my step dad or not warm and fuzzy or affectionate. It wasn’t until freshman year of high school that I realized I was being raised by an alcoholic. I swore up and down I would never touch a drop of alcohol because I didn’t want that to be me.

Unfortunately, those years of not knowing and too few years of knowing that did make her do it and that I saw my mother drunk more than I saw her sober, all made me exactly who she was drunk, while I was sober. My nature had become my mothers drunk nature. I didn’t need a substance, I just had that anger and misery in my heart at all times.

And it reared it’s ugly head at every single situation in my life. I do not know how anyone hired me, kept me, dated me, loved me or even liked me. I found the worst in everything, everyone. All day. I became abusive, emotionally and physically.

At 22 years old, moved out of my mother’s house for 5 years, I realized I had become what I didn’t want to be, which led to self hate and depression because I didn’t want to be this way but didn’t know how to stop. Should I go to AA? But I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing anything.

There were no meetings for “I wake up like this.”

Now, at 27, I am happy! Like stupid happy. I married the man of my dreams. I have a wonderful little boy who I just love to watch grow up and learn and explore. We just moved into the perfect house for our little family. I am lucky enough to stay home with my son. And just started a new business that landed a pretty big account two weeks ago!

What happened?

I woke up to the fact that I was the problem. I had let my whole person become a victim of my environment. I was sucked into believing that this is just the way things are, the way they will continue to be. I now know the truth, and I wouldn’t wish that stuck, unhappy mentality on anyone.

I found Buddhism. I learned about cause and effect. I learned about karma, human and family revolution. I learned that I could stop the seemingly never ending cycle of unhappy marriages, horrible parent-child relationships and substance abuse in my family. I have the power to stop years of unhappiness.

I am about spreading happiness. I am about enlightening people to the fact that their happiness is theirs to take control of.

The power that moves the universe, is also the power that is inside of you.

Use it for good.