Confessions

Let’s talk Scary Mommy Confessions. First of all, if you are reading this and do not have kids yet, thinking about having kids, not sure about having kids.. I would go with not reading Scary Mommy Confessions.

I started reading them when I stumbled across them while nursing my son probably a year ago. There are some funny ones. Some positive ones. But mostly, they are scary sad confessions.

I get why they are anonymous and it makes me wish I could HUG every single sad mom out there! And just listen to her. I just want to listen, and let her cry and nod sympathetically and let her get it out of her system, in real life, with real eyes looking back with compassion.

It is said, that mothers are like the sun. The sun of the family. No matter what, her attitude should be the brightest to help brighten the lives of everyone she loves.

Sometimes, the confessions are on the comparing ends of things. Other peoples partners, other peoples kids, other peoples days, job, no job etc. Comparing is evil. It is self destructive.

If mothers are the sun, comparing is a literally a giant rain cloud that everyone notices, everyone picks up on it, everyone feels it, everyone reflects it and the cycle continues. Please stop comparing.

You are loving your kids the best you can and that looks so different for every single mom and parent, no matter how similar some situations may look at first glance.

It can be the most difficult thing to accept our own individual circumstance. Not only accept it, but then to also be happy about it!

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I love this quote from SGI President Daisaku Ikeda. “The plum is happiest when it blooms as itself in full glory.” Right where the plum is, it grows into the best version of itself. That is all it can do. To even think of being something else, would only cause it suffering.

You are who you are where you are when you are.

By embracing all that is around you, all that makes up your life right now, only opens you up for opportunity to grow and be happy.

Once that happens, it is amazing to look back and see how everything happened for a reason, even the times that you were at your lowest and unhappiest.

For a long time, I was that miserable person. After I graduated from Art school, I stayed working in my retail job, I was promoted and once your promoted, you are often stuck, seemingly. I spent a lot of time thinking I had nothing and everything I did have was crap.

I didn’t appreciate anything, and now I deeply appreciate everything. Everything I once considered a waste, I now cherish as part of my history in this life. Looking back on it, I don’t really recognize that person.

I hope that for the people who are “stuck” right now, they do come to a place in their lives where they look back and see that everything happened for a reason. It is the most incredible warm and fuzzy feeling I have ever experienced. Like deja vu but on a cloud.

Find something to be grateful for everyday, kids and parents both should get in on that, together! Teach them early to appreciate anything and everything, no matter how small. Especially the small things!

A forest isn’t built up of one tree. It is several, numerous trees that makes it so!

 

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Giveaway Time!! Happy Friday!

As part of the Blog Challenge by Mr Jeff Goins, today is giveaway day! Whoop Whoop!

Initially, I was thinking that I could giveaway what I would like to offer to email subscribers but I want everyone to have that opportunity.

With the internet being so virtual, I decided I would do a giveaway of something real, something that I could sent to someone! Because I LOVE snail mail and getting packages in the mail, that I did’t pay for, well that really makes me happy. And that is what I want my blog to be all about, making people happy.

So, this will be short and sweet! I would like to give away a notebook! A fresh, never used, ready for your thoughts and ideas and doodles and stories and poems and anything thing else you would like to put in there!

How do I enter you ask?

Just comment below which of my current blogs is your favorite!

(ok so you have to do a little bit of work)

But here is what you could win!

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It is lovely, and more importantly, BLANK.

So skip around, read a little, let me know your favorite Blog and in 24 hours (3 pm east coast time) I will pick a name out of hat (really do this old school) and announce the winner tomorrow!

Thanks!!

Stopping the Cycles of Unhappiness

Happiness.

I want people to become happy. Not just my family, friends, so on, I want strangers to be happy. I am unhappy that so many people are unhappy.

I know unhappiness. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was miserable, angry and did things to make others unhappy. Because well, misery loves company.

You know who loves company even more? Happiness.

I was raised by my mother who did the very best she could! She also happened to be an alcoholic. For years I didn’t know what made her the way she was sometimes. I didn’t know why she would tell me “Shut up, God, your voice goes right through me.” I didn’t know why she was violent toward my step dad or not warm and fuzzy or affectionate. It wasn’t until freshman year of high school that I realized I was being raised by an alcoholic. I swore¬†up and down I would never touch a drop of alcohol because I didn’t want that to be me.

Unfortunately, those years of not knowing and too few years of knowing that did make her do it and that I saw my mother drunk more than I saw her sober, all made me exactly who she was drunk, while I was sober. My nature had become my mothers drunk nature. I didn’t need a substance, I just had that anger and misery in my heart at all times.

And it reared it’s ugly head at every single situation in my life. I do not know how anyone hired me, kept me, dated me, loved me or even liked me. I found the worst in everything, everyone. All day. I became abusive, emotionally and physically.

At 22 years old, moved out of my mother’s house for 5 years, I realized I had become what I didn’t want to be, which led to self hate and depression because I didn’t want to be this way but didn’t know how to stop. Should I go to AA? But I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing anything.

There were no meetings for “I wake up like this.”

Now, at 27, I am happy! Like stupid happy. I married the man of my dreams. I have a wonderful little boy who I just love to watch grow up and learn and explore. We just moved into the perfect house for our little family. I am lucky enough to stay home with my son. And just started a new business that landed a pretty big account two weeks ago!

What happened?

I woke up to the fact that I was the problem. I had let my whole person become a victim of my environment. I was sucked into believing that this is just the way things are, the way they will continue to be. I now know the truth, and I wouldn’t wish that stuck, unhappy mentality on anyone.

I found Buddhism. I learned about cause and effect. I learned about karma, human and family revolution. I learned that I could stop the seemingly never ending cycle of unhappy marriages, horrible parent-child relationships and substance abuse in my family. I have the power to stop years of unhappiness.

I am about spreading happiness. I am about enlightening people to the fact that their happiness is theirs to take control of.

The power that moves the universe, is also the power that is inside of you.

Use it for good.

 

away we go

So that title may be very typical but it does capture how I am feeling about this blog thing. And I do happen to love the movie as well, so really, it is a win win. So ok, why a blog?

I am pretty comfortable writing pen to paper. I love paper. I love watching ink strokes and pencils make their mark but I am in dire need of practice on a keyboard. Just these few sentences have resulted in an embarrassing number of typos and misspelled words. However, no grammatical errors (yet). < That might be one.

Ok hello, my name is Shirley. I am a stay at home mom to an almost 2 year old who in increasingly independent. I am a wife to my wonderful husband who works his butt off so that I can stay home with our son. We met 5 year ago this year.

I am also a Buddhist. Guess how long? 5 years! Yes! I met my husband right after I started practicing Buddhism. Coincidence? Some might say yes, I say no! The universe knew what I needed and walked him right into my store of my miserable job. And even in all my misery, he still thought I was pretty, funny, adorable and asked for my number! In all honesty, what was assumed to be a fling, as I was moving to DC from Philadelphia for a new job, and I did. So it was a fling, then long distance, then only a few months later I was packing everything I owned into the trunk of my car and driving to move in with him!

Here we are, 5 years later with a wonderful toddler and a lovely house in GA. If you had told me my future 5 years ago, I would have yelled and screamed and cried at you because I did not deserve to be this happy, so I thought.

I had made so many mistakes, as I once saw them, but now I see that I needed to do those, to end up here. And here, I am happy. Goofy, stupid happy.

I owe it to my husband and my practice. So now! Ok I am a stay at home mom living the dream! But it is lonely! OMG, so lonely! And finding moms you click with and finding kids your kid clicks with is a circus. I am not sure if there is a perfect balance out there.

Born and raised in Maryland, photography school brought me to Philadelphia, where I met my husband. Photography gave me a few different jobs that I now appreciate everything I learned from each one. My most recent job was a product photographer at a high end consignment eBay store. That is a mouthful.

It was fun, mostly because of my coworkers but all in all, I was not a right fit for the company. I was not as fast as they would have preferred. They were nice enough to move me to a different department when I got pregnant, but alas, pregnant me was most certainly not fast enough at that job either.

But, the highlight of those couple years there was I fell in love with product photography. I fell in love with angles, the challenge that everything was different, the manipulation of the lighting, the fact that a vase didn’t have double chin to be concerned about!

It was fantastic. I got giddy when they brought in plates, paintings, fun vintage toys, oh the list goes on!

My heart was just not in the indulging of consumerism. Discounting a $40,0000 handbag to an affordable $500 was not my idea of helping people.

I am a nurturer. I am not a salesperson. If you don’t need it, I don’t need it and I am not going to make you think you need something you and I both know you do not. That is not where my heart is. Never was. Never will be. So how do I combine both worlds? My love for product photography and helping people?

Etsy. Etsy and even Amazon now have spaces for people who are putting their hearts and souls into creating, designing and making amazing things by hand and bravely putting them out into the world! I want to help them. I want to use my photography knowledge and my love of product photography to showcase their items in the best way possible. So this is my mission. Photographing the well loved and made things that make the world go round with all the love and space I have in my at home studio!

Thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate it.